i’m back; indefinitely

As the title suggests, i’m back but indefinitely.

I might disappear again.

Most people will not even read this blog cuz they’ll think i’m still gone.

But i’m back (:

for a while anyways.

So i always say a lot has happened in the times that i haven’t blogged but today i will say, a lot has not happened.

I haven’t been doing anything that was note worthy or blog worthy. Or i have and i’m just too lazy to rethink and report. I think the latter is more accurate (cough).

So there’s only a few weeks, 4 to be exact?, of college left and i am excited!!

finally i am escaping this good for nothing, money making, college. I LOVE the course don’t get me wrong but the college….there is something definitely wrong with it =/

Anyways i haven’t got much to say because i am a boring person…or am i?

Okay to tell the truth i am just bored thats why i am blogging with nothing to say …

i have wasted ur time xD

so sorry

but then again if i WAS sorry i wouldn’t have done it in the first place right?

Oh but there is something i want to say to kong;

Kong, i know you’re going thru a rough time at the moment but i’m here whenever you want to talk and i hope it’ll get better in time. Just continue being the ever strong you and you’ll get through it like you get through waking up early everyday to go to college. You’re a strong woman and i believe in you! As the Koreans say, aja aja FIGHTING! Believe in yourself and be happy because i’m sure your grandpa would have wanted you to be happy no matter what happened. Even though it’s hard for you to go on living your life without his guidance and influence, you must find a way to find your equilibrium and find yourself through the words that you have heard from him. It’s okay to cry sometimes and it’s okay to let it out. The people around you may laugh but they themselves are mourning for the loss so don’t let it get you down if they do laugh at your emotions. Just let it out whichever way you can. Anyways i am rambling on too much xD. I hope you will be happier soon! Love you muchly~!

And on that note i am out until the next time xD

~the complication that is tram!

urgh TIME OUT please!!

♥

I haven’t blogged in ages and that’s b.c I had so much on my mind and college is killing me slowly.

So I shouldn’t be procrastinating but argh I just am and I can’t help it. Whenever I look at my school diary and look at it, it gives me a great big headache!! So much work to do in such little time.

This blows.

I really need a job as well. Stupid maccas has yet again rejected my application ): and now I’m down on self-esteem and morality. I HAVE NO MORE STRENGTH TO GO ON!!! But then again I always bounce back.

So anyways. I’m so sick of hearing people say: “OMG ARE YOU REALLY GETTING MARRIED?”

The answer is “YES” god, get over it. People do it all the time. It’s not like i’m the only person. Gosh. And no, I’m not crazy or stupid. I wanna get married and thats my business so stop putting your two cents in it. Congratulate me and move on. Don’t go “ohhhh but you’re so young” or saying stuff like “you’re going to regret it”. REGRETS ARE FOR FUCKING PANSIES.

Anyways, I’ve already told those who are invited where the wedding is and all that. If i havent told you that means you’re not getting invited sorry, its as simple as that

these four walls…

soooooooo last satday i had the worst day EVER. seems to me like i am slipping into the state of worthlessness yet again.

it peeves me off to think like this because i try to be optimistic

really, i try

i build up my walls and lock myself away and then somehow someone is able to penetrate thru and the cracks start showing

i didnt really care that the wall was falling down and i was letting people in

people like you

yet you sprung this thing on me which i dont deserve

or maybe i do deserve it and this is your way of punishing me

but i wanted to believe that everything was changing

that once i’ve lowered my bridges and let you thru you would care

i thought you wouldnt critisize me about the things i wanted to do and the paths i wanted to take

yeah

you broke me

i mended myself

i glued myself back together

i rebuilt those walls and put in a door instead

i opened my door and let you in again

yet everytime i did this you just had to ruin it

you smashed it beyond repair

then the memories start flowing back

and i remember why i built these walls in the first place

i remember why i didnt want to be a nice person

i remember why i wanted to be selfish and blame others

i remember why i didnt want to go home

and really, these things all point to one thing;;

running away

yeh i thought about it a lot

when i was wat? 14? 15? probably even younger

the thing is, i cant cope under your stress even if i say i can

i CANT

i cant have people having this GREAT EXPECTATION of me

i cant do it under the scrutiny of others

i especially cant possibly go on juggling all these emotions of others, bottling it inside of me and then dwelve in it

it’s too much

i am one person

show me ONE emotion at a time

don’t be all happy and treat me good

then be angry at me for what i can or cant do or say

dont start feeling guilt and remorse when you’ve realised what you said cant be taken back

dont be sad when you know its not your fault

dont give me all these emotions if you wont take responsibilities for your action because i cant handle it

i cant handle the fact that you’re always overreacting

because there’s nothing to overreact about

ESPECIALLY MY WEIGHT.

there i said it

i am human and i can get insecurities too

i’m not the robot you think i am

i dont need to hear you constantly comparing me to those svelt people in movies and magazines

i dont need to hear your constant agitation towards my laziness because the fact is

I AM LAZY

live with it

i don’t want to change who i am just for you

i dont want to exercise because you tell me to

i want to do it for myself

but this stubborness instilled in me since little cannot die

there’s this little voice telling me to push and prod you until you explode in anger and finally kick me outta your life forever

i can live with that

but i cant and wont live with the fact that you overreact if i dont do something to your liking or when you talk about my weight and laziness to people and the fact that i dont do shit around the house

because i do

or at least i did

i washed the dishes

i cleaned the toilets

i hung the washing and took the laundry in

for years

ever since i was 8

yet you insist on me doing everything

i am not the only person in the house

if i could do it at age 8 so can she at age 13

its this bias thing you have towards me that i cant handle either

i cant cope with the constant overreacting to things

the constant yelling

the constant neglect you inflict upon me

im trying to juggle your pent up anger, my emotions and stress all at the same time

i feel like i will explode and blurt things that i cant take back

because i am a destructive person

you’ve made me put up a wall all my life

i’ve only put it down

not for long

yet you’ve already started demolishing it to bits and pieces

the cracks are getting bigger

and any day now

i will splurge

i wont be that happy person you see anymore

i wont be that person who smiles even though she is getting shouted at

i wont be the one who supports you when everything goes wrong

i definetly wont be the person who will listen to what you have to say and stay quiet

im trying to stay intact

im trying to rebuild

yet everytime i cement a brick into the wall

you bash another down

at this rate

the wall will stay up and the door will stay shut

the person inside will be locked away for ever

the selfish person will come out to play

and you know what?

we’re all going to regret it

because i did learn how to change for you

i did alter my selfish side and be nice

i didnt ask for much

love. affection. compassion.

yet you turned a blind eye

you always do

you never see whats in front of you

you’re always looking over the horizon

and you’re over analyzing things

you lie

you do the things you can to get by

and you leave the sufferers behind

not even sparing a thought

i dont want to feel this way

caving into your disciplinary acts that will make me a fake

but i guess im already a fake right?

dont i still keep on a smile for you?

dont i still try to win your love everytime?

i guess i never learn

because in truth

i cant cope with you hating me

a part of me came to relise that you only love me if  do the things you want and do it your way

and i did do it your way

i’ve done it your way for a while now

i want to do it my way for once

for once let me be in control of my own life

treat me like an adult

not a dog you pass by on the streets where you dont even give it a passing thought

so here’s what i’ve come to realise;;

until the day you can treat me as a real human being with real emotions

im just going to stay shut in my walls

i was never claustrophobic

dont worry about this wall

theres a breathing hole large enough for me

i can live through this like i’ve lived thru every lie you’ve served up to me in a silver platter of hatred

its just that i wont be so susceptible

i wont bend that easily anymore

 

 

~the compication that is tram

teach me how to feel

can some one teach me how to feel?

becos i don’t know what all these emotions in me are doing

i feel lost

insecure

sick to the stomach

i don’t know what to feel

i am neutral

yet in my heart there’s turmoil

there are so many problems i am facing

yet i dont know how to feel towards them all

happy?

sad?

angry?

excitement?

how do i show it?

i feel like i’ve lost the feelings i need to support me

it’s like losing everything i’ve learnt

that false facade i put up

it’s fading away

it’s showing my true feelings

and that feeling is nothingness

it’s all fake

my mask has been ripped off

i’m now neutral

like a stone

yet inside

i am lonely

i have these feelings

i just can’t express them

i don’t know if i should express them

i just…

i don’t know anymore

it’s all so confusing

i think too much

this separation from my friends

this unsocial like behaviour

i just want to get away from it all

i wanna escape to an unknown reality

one that doesnt involve my problems

one that doesnt involve me being like this

because i hate it

i hate going depressed

and emo

and all that junk

i’m usually optimistic

i hate being pessimistic

its sucks

drains my energy

maybe it’s just a phase

it’ll pass soon enough right?

 

and a note to lilas:

i hope you’re okay and right now i think i’m feeling what you are so we’re kinda on the same boat. i understand what you’re going through because i’ve been through it so many times back then. it’s hard to voice our opinions and easier to become wallpaper. if you need anyone to talk to, know that i’m always here for you and i will listen. no matter what.

 

 

~the complication that is tram

behind these words

tired.

oh so tired.

i’m ever so tired these days.

it’s not even funny anymore.

stay up late doing assignments.

wake up early to get to college.

rawrs.

sucks to be me.

boo hoo.

and that, my friends, are the sooky sooky business in my life atm.

you’re not missing much.

after all i am finding that i’m very complicated.

a complicated human being.

aren’t we all?

we have different ways to express ourselves.

complicating things is one of it.

so i cant help but complicate myself.

i cant help feeling the way i feel.

i cant help it if i am starting to write in more depth about my feelings.

i also cant help that i write in code most of the time.

it’s just how i’m programmed to function* (i so stole this quote from Lily Allen’s song The Fear)

the way i seem is not always the way i feel.

as i said.

very complicated human.

can’t help but do things to confuse others.

oh. i realised kong & lilas changed their blog themes as so did i.

how weird.

we all didnt plan on it yet it’s all changed.

at the same times too probably?

i dono.

i like change.

well…

not really.

only sometimes.

only the good changes.

bad changes sucks.

yeah.

so totally weird that i’m writing lik this.

it’s more fun i guess.

dead and gone by T.I ft Justin Timberlake is very addicting to listen to.

i’m listening to it atm.

kinda describes how i’m feeling these days.

rawrs.

i need more sleep.

and more relaxation.

someone please provide me with an escape plan.

it’d be helpful to this piece of complication.

i hate stress.

fast tracking to uni sucks.

too much stress in 1 year courses.

this is one of them.

i miss the good ol’ high school days.

where art thou?

romeo.

ha. ha. ha.

dry laughter all around.

i think i’m allergic to cruisers and some types of alcohol.

why the hell?

i love cruisers!

so stupid ):

so itchy now.

just cuz of that cruiser i had at my mum’s bday party.

which was yesterday.

had very yummy cake.

i liked it.

me and sis bought it at tim tims.

it was in the shape of a heart.

had lots of strawberries too.

did i mention it was very yummy?

probably not.

well.

it was DELICIOUS.

la la LOVED it!

is being random a complication of mine?

i need to sort out my brain but there are too many things i need to thing about.

like why i’mwriting this way.

why i’m being strange these days.

and what is this constant anger i keep penting up?

feel like unleashing my wrath onto an unsuspecting victim.

so beware.

i explode these days.

in random bursts.

all in my head though.

you’re safe.

but for my health.

please dont tick me off.

seriously.

 

- the complication that is tram

for real

stressed

 

 

 

stressed

 

 

so damn stressed

 

 

i am dying with this stress

 

stress

 

 

not enough sleep = stress

 

 

 

stress induced

 

 

too much work, tests & assignments in college = STRESS

 

 

dying slowly with stress

 

seriously feel like dying because there is too much stress!

 

 

i am just so FUCKING stressed!

 

 

stressful

 

 

too much stress

 

 

stressing out

 

 

stress

 

 

 

~the complication that is tram

the complication that is tram

my whole life is a lie.

 

 

 

 

lie to me once, shame on you.

 

 

 

 

lie to me twice, shame on me.

 

 

 

it’s all LIES!

 

 

 

 

 the lies.

you lied .

I cannot escape the lies or liars.

everything is a LIE.

your LOVE is a lie

you stupid liar.

why the hell did you LIE?

muahahahahaha i was bored.

don’t take this too seriously

 i’m not becoming emo

HAHAHAZ fuck i need a life >.>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

from the complication that is tram. peace out y’all

 

Robert Pattinson *droools* i really am crazy (:

I am ever so lazy to BLOG. It’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. ROFLS. Okay so I felt the need to say that, don’t know why, don’t ask me because I am just a random person.

Anyways! I’m supposed to be studying for my test and start on my assignment for college but guess what? I AM A PROCASTINATOR. It’s in my blood! No matter what I do, I always leave it to the last minute and sometimes it’s alright but at other times it aint to good! Like this test that I have tomorrow. Cramming now is okay because i’ll remember more stuff tomorrow but the assignment is due NEXT WEEK and i’ve read through it. I just have to put pen to paper. Siiiighhhhhhhh I am soooo fucking LAZY. Gosh I need motivation to do work!

So yesterday i was on the train on my way to College (central) and i was listening to Kyle and Jackie O on the train (so yes i am that crazy chick who is smiling like a goofball, if you have seen me on the train by myself lol) and then Jackie O starts talking about Robert Pattinson and how he’s on the cover of GQ magazine this month. All of a sudden i got really interested in Robert and couldnt wait till school was over so i could go and buy said magazine. So i was anticipating that all day. Turns out the se7en eleven that i went to in the city didnt have GQ mags but they did have Tvhits and Robert was on the cover!!! I was that excited. I don’t know why. I am weird…so yes. I then went to this news stand to see if they had the GQ mag, they did but it was the Australian version and i was like: “you don’t have the American one?” lady: “no sorry only Australian” me: ” :00″ i am seriously so damn weird. lol

so anyways i was damn excited i got the Tv hits mag and couldn’t wait to read it on the train on my way back to Cabra and yes i did have to tell someone my “happy” news. I texted Kong and i’m sure she was cracking up when i sent her the messagae fan girling about Robert Pattinson. So i’m reading, reading, flicking through the pages and i see Taylor Lautner and i was like hey he looks familiar. Turns out he’s the dude that plays Jacob Black in Twilight and he was also in Shark Boy and Lava Girl! How cool is that? I loved that movie! Lol. Yep i now had TWO guys i was getting over excited about.

Needless to say that was a happy day and trip for me. I got home and i was all hyped up about searching the GQ magazine and Robert’s interview. I find it really interesting on how he tells the truth in the articles. Or maaybe, as the article said he’s a really bad liar or he can’t lie at all. I wish to have my head in a bubble and think he does not lie and tells the truth but that’s because i am biased towards this guy (:

So when i did finally calm myself down i wondered why i was even excited in the first place. I’ve watched Twilight and i’ve seen Rob in action but it didnt really make a big impact on my fan girlyness but after seeing his picture in a magazine and reading about him more i felt more interested and i found myself going crazy over a celeb. How weirdly odd and crazy. Seriously. Maybe this just means i am one of those crazy fans? I really don’t know. Oh wait. I just had an ephiphany. I think its all got to do with the Twilight series. I’ve read the three books already and onto my last. Maybe it’s because before i didnt have someone to model Edward Cullen to and now that i do i find it intriguing. Hah. That explains most things. Lol.

I know what you’re all thinking though, that i’m obsessed with Robert now and to tell you the truth, i think i am. But that’s  because he’s so good looking and he’s a very interesting kind of person really. Read his GQ interview and you’ll understand what i mean. Half of you wont though anyways so i guess your all just going to have to hold up with my obsession with Robert Pattinson for awhile.

sorry but i’m just a hormon ridden teenager who can’t resist his looks and quirkyness.That and now whenever i read Breaking Dawn or any of the Twilight series i have his face as Edward Cullen. It freaks me out a little (:

So yes. I am now in love with Robert Pattinson a few months after i’ve watched twilight. I really am weird…anyways need to go study for my test T___T” hope i pass!!! until next timmeeee …

 

Hey Lilas, see i kept my promise to blog today and i did it! Hurrah for me !! (:

280209 & 070309

So anyways, I haven’t blogged awhile…hmm let’s start off with my birthday which was last week!! (: I am OFFICIALLY 18 and I’ll be able to drink (legally lol)!!! WOOOTS.

 

Thanks to Kong for allowing me to have my party at her house and even though nothing was going to plan and the morning started out really shifty, I really had the best birthday ever. It was the happiest day of my life.

 

Anyways let’s start at the beginning…

 

270209 – Went to college to do a first aid course and met William, Frenchie, Lisa and Linda. It was good that I had people to talk to while on the train cuz normally I wouldn’t be gong to college on a Friday but the course was on this day so yeh. Told the guys to meet me at Galaxy cuz they were all going to meet up. Spent the whole day at college learning how to save a life So yes people I am also now a qualified First Aider wooots (: yeh so that afternoon I finished early so called William and told him and Sarouen to meet me in Hyde(? The park in central is that wat it’s called? Lol I wouldn’t know…) park and yeh waited a while there for them >.> apparently they did two laps of the park and didn’t see me ALTHOUGH I WAS WEARING A VERY BRIGHT BLUE SHIRT!!!  Yes so anyways, after that we tried to call David a trillion times and then finally he picked up and we went to Ramen Kan to wait for him. Got there and two minutes later he showed up. Went upstairs to have lunch and after that went shopping around the Friday market stores in China town (I never knew about this!!). The guys wanted to get me something so they told me to choose whatever I wanted. Let me tell u it took a loooong time lols. So we saw this store that had headbands and I went to it and the man there thought David was my boyfriend cuz we were mucking around and such and the thought that first came into my head was: LOLOLOL WAT THE HELL? DAVID? NO WAY. Lol. It was pretty funny and I think the old man was accusing me of having 3 boyfriends and saying how I didn’t need 3 and I was like o____O what??? LOLS. So weird. The headbands were so expensive!! Grrr so yeh moved on to morning glory I thought I wanted a soft toy but then I thought back that I had a lot of soft toys (I saw a biiig octopus and those stackable pandas but in the end didn’t get those) and sooo I dragged the guys into the Chinese music store where I spent a long time in. Was going to get a Big Bang concert DVD thingo but then it was a tad expensive and because David was being a cheap ass and complaining so I got SHINee’s album instead and a Big Bang concert poster. Once again, thanks guys for getting it for me!! I know it was a tiring day cuz I dragged them everywhere ahaha. Then after that I got ice cream from Cold Rock and we trained it home where Sarouen drove me and William home. All in all I had a really productive pre-birthday day (:

 

280209 – This day started off VERY BAD. Lols. I remember being really mad at my parents cuz they wouldn’t let me have a party at our place. Thankfully Kong agreed to let me have a party at her house (she had to ask her mum first and thank god she said yes). So Kong and Lilas showed up at my door and Lilas was the first to give me a present. I was really happy at what I got. I’ll make a list of it later. Anyways…after that Lilas drove us to Cabra so we could buy stuff for the party and we met up with Kong’s mum. Spent $40 at Woolies then Lilas drove us back to Kong’s place and we started preparing things. After that Lilas drove us out to Cabra again to pick up the cake and I had to meet my dad cuz he was getting me a new phone!! ANOTHER GREAT PRESENT!! Kong told me to buy noodles and I thought I bought the right one but it turned out it was wrong T___T” should have listened to Darwin. Yep so Lilas drove us to BP to get ice then got back to Kong’s house and then Lilas had to drive to Reddies to pick Pan up. Darwin went with her. During that time me and Kong bummed around a bit lol. We were wondering where everyone was. 5 o’clock came and then I think William and George got there first. Then waited a while longer and then Ching came then Lilas and Darwin with Pan in tow. David and Sarouen were the last to arrive. So it was an AWESOME party after that. HAHA. We ate junk food and Guitar Hero’ed then we had hot pot. Around 8 Sarouen went to pick Watthanak up cuz they remembered he wanted to come. Decided to have pizza so Pan went with the boys. George disappeared with Huong. Lol. That was weird but anyways…me, Kong, Darwin, Ching and Lilas wanted to follow those two. We ended up taking the guitar and taking turns playing it while walking down Bowden St. We wanted to visit Sana so we walked down her St and it was my turn with the guitar ahahah I was scaring them and being crazy with it and they told me to shush ahahaha. Anyways we were at the front of Sana’s place and we tried to call her but she didn’t come out ): I was fully on going “SANA COME OUT” lols. Then we returned in time for pizza. We walked back down Bowden St to the park and ate IN THE DARK lol it was crazy but real fun (: mucked around for a bit and walked back and cut the cake. WOOO I hope my wish comes true. Kong should have an idea what I wished for (: then ate cake and me and Kong cleaned up while the others guitar hero’d again lol. Then everyone started leaving. First Sarouen then Lilas drove pan and the boys home. Ching, Darwin and Kong (who lived there lol) were left with me and we hung out on her balcony and just talked about stuff. Was really cool and fun. So what started out as a bad day turned out very eventful and fun. Happy 18^th to me hahaha.

 

So here’s the list of things I got for my birthday in order…

 

William, David & Sarouen – Amigo the first album-SHINee & a Big Bang Global Warning Concert Poster (THANKS GUYS I LOVE IT!!)

 

Lilas – Breaking Dawin & the DVD’s I wanted : Raise Your Voice & Mean Girls + Clueless (Lil forgot I wanted She’s the Man so she got me this DVD instead which I didn’t mind ahah) THANKS LIL I LOVE IT HEAPS

 

William – Moisturizer and Perfume pack  ahaha I really like this present cuz of the perfume and even though he chipped in to buy me the CD and Poster he got me this present lols. Thanks William (:

 

George – New Moon; George was supposed to get me all three books of the twilight series but they hatched a plan so each of them could get me one book ahahah very smart cuz I believed George when he said he would buy me all three books RAWRS.

 

Kong – I had to ask where my present was because Kong said she would give it to me later. Turns out she got me a BOOKCASE!! And ECLIPSE. At first I thought she made me something with pictures of my fav celebs but turns out it was a bookcase she was describing lol. I was shocked and VERY HAPPY because I needed a new bookcase teeheee thanks Kong THE BEST PRESENT EVAR!! Ahahah love you lots!! Then I got William to take it to my place hahah used his muscles there for a while (:

 

So I got most of the things that I wanted from my bday list. I am sooooo happy. Thanks to all my friends who came to celebrate with me! It has been the best one so far (: It was really good to see Darwin too!! I hadn’t seen her in a while and I was soooo happy that she did come.

 

So that was my bday (:

 

290209 – Had a day out with parents and Helen. We ate Pho and then we just hanged around the coffee shop. Don’t really remember what we did that day lol…oh yeah we went to Megacentre Maccas afterwards and saw Lilas and Kong working. IT WAS SOOOO CROWDED THAT DAY!! Grr I had to wait in line for soooo long. >.< and I really cant remember what I did afterwards lol…

 

070309 – Day out with Ching, Darwin and Kong. LOL. It was the MARDI GRAS!!! We didn’t really go, but we did see people dressed up and stuff lol. So we met at Cabra station and trained it to Central. Walked to the Korean restaurant cuz we all decided what we wanted to eat on the train. Ordered HEAPS of food lol. Korean BBQ!! It was soooo tasty I loved it. I’ll upload the pics on soon. Then afterwards we went to morning glory and me and Darwin purchased two octopus in which we named them Squishy (they’re meant to be a couple but I lost my squishy three days afterwards~! I feel so sad T___T”) then walked to China Town’s Morning Glory and spent an amount of time in there before going to eat ice cream at Y2 (I think that’s the name of the store lol) and yes I did take pics so I’ll upload that as well. Then we went to Hay Market and looked around for a purse. I saw one that I really like so I’ll be coming back to get it. Then we went to Market City and looked around as well. Ching bought some stuff. Kong did as well. We went to Capitol to take pics. Was really fun ahah and I was in the centre most of the time kekeke. Then we walked to something Square and ate SUSHI TRAIN!! Been sooo long since I did that. Was quite expensive!! And Darwin got me addicted to the Vitamin water Kiwi + Strawberry flavoured. Nice one Darwin lols. Kong was also busting to go pee all this time haha but there was a crowd in both toilets so she waited a while when we at the sushi train place. Then we saw massive crowds of people around when we were going home. Saw Bel!! Was really surprised to see her there lol. Anyways after that we were on the new train home but we moved to another carriage half way cuz the transit officers had to clean the upstairs area cuz it was wet or something. We met Kong’s new friends – CanCan and Tishie but I kept calling him Tooshie hehehe took loads of pics and Kong decorated my phone with stuff I bought that day for it. Ching and Darwin stole some and put it on their faces haha we were getting high and laughing a lot. Got to Cabra and we decided to go to William’s place (: was really fun ahaha first time ever being to his flat and I think we were a bit noisy ahah hoped his mum and sister didn’t really mind. Bummed around in his room for a while and watched stuff on youtube then it was time for home. William walked me and Kong home and I stole his thongs cuz my feet were killing me in my heels hehehe thanks William (: got home around 11`ish and was so puffed out. Another great day out. So fun. I loved every minute of it. We’re planning on going to Hogs Breath Café soon so hopefully another great outing.

 

Oh yeah 060309 was my practicum and I had LOADS of fun with the children!! Great learning experience and I can’t wait for my next practicum date. Hope it won’t be too hard!

 

edit: okayyys so i wrote this like last week and my net was down so i couldnt post it LOL so you’ll just have to wait till what i wrote about last week lols.

Rock out with your Frock out (bday theme)

Heya chickas! Haven’t blogged in a while so I thought I’d do it today because I’m not as tired.
So the past three weeks have been busy with College! Kong should know because she printed off like loads of worksheets for me! Thanks Kong, you’re the best =)

So anyways my birthday is in two weeks girls! So I was thinking about what Pan said about the whole Goth/Punk theme and I say we go with it! So now that I’ve decided on the themes you guys go and plan the party okay? Lols. Uhh just tell me what you guys want at the party e.g. what kinds of party food do you guys want (hotpot? KFC? Pizza? Lol). I am hoping y’all will buy me a cake this year, rofls if not tell me at least 2 days earlier so I know to order one ( I was thinking of a gothic/punk kinda chocolate cake, ideas girls?)
So here are the rules of this party:
1. Alcohol will be served for those who want it
2. Everyone must be a dressed according to the Goth/punk theme (At this stage I am thinking of having everyone wear a mask but we’ll go into more details of this later)
3. Everyone must have a ride to and from my house meaning I WILL NOT be chauffeuring any of you niggers this year like I did last year. Lol.
So yeah, those are the three major rules for now. I’ll notify you guys if there are any other changes.

trammie’s list of things she would like to have this birthday season:
-Some t-shirts with the picture of DBSK, Big Bang, Jesse McCartney & David Beckham. This can be done at Parramatta Westfield’s on the level where Supre is!!
-Some new romance books
- A new bookcase!!
Some sort of Mp4 player
- Raise Your Voice DVD (Hilary duff stars in it and Oliver James is in it too and I LOVE this movie even though its old!!), She’s the man DVD
-A digital picture frame thingy
-KISS OF A DEMON KING!!!!! By Kresley Cole ZOMGS I WANT TO READ THIS BOOK SO BADLY!!
-A year subscription of Famous magazine
-A new phone preferably the Sony Ericsson C905
- A bike? Lols
- Any sorts of soft-toy
-Some new clothes (preferably shirts & cardigans and tops)
- A new handbag
- A COLLAGE OF ALL MY FAVOURITE CELEBRITIES!!!!!!!!!
-Mary Janice Davidson’s books; the Undead series is VERY appealing to me!!

So I may sound a little spoilt atm with all the things I want but I don’t mind if I get one or don’t get anything on the list as long as I have my friends to spend my birthday with I’ll be happy so remember Kong, Lilas, Pan & Zerris to N/A your workplaces for Satday 28th okay?! You guys better!!

I’ll be making invites soon so look out for that in your email mail boxes girlies!!

Oh and a little extra something that I was meant to send Kong but I’ll just post it here because I just remembered ahha. Remember the list of guys I wanted to meet/hug/kiss Kong? Well here it is & don’t say I didn’t warn you that there were a lot of guys on this list lols and all of them are celebs!! Except for the book characters. Lol

Hi Kong, I wasn’t joking when I said that I was going to make a list of guys I wanted to kiss/hug/meet. I mean, a girl has to dream right? Actually it’s in my star sign to dream – Pisces are daydreamers =) and I do love my dreams. Err, back onto the subject at hand…

Jesse McCartney – because this guy is drop dead gorgeous and oh so cute!!

Justin Calista – don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming cause you know I am crazy about him (even though he’s not real =( so sad right?)

-Hero JaeJoong – heh I LOVER him!! He has a killer voice, smexy smile & a hot body. Plus he’s cute when he wants to be and his pout is sooooooo cuuuuteeeeee. I would DIE to kiss those pouty lips =) WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE?!~

-Mickey Yoochun – he’s so sweet and cute and adorable!!  

-Ryo Nishikido (from 1 litres of tears) – he’s a mysterious jap dude!! The one in 1 litre of tears!! Yeah he made me cry like a baby in that movie, him and that girl =(

-Se7en – D: he has THE lips. Enough said =D 

-Kim Hyun Joong (Korean actor in of boys over flowers) – he’s also mysterious and he looks hot as!!

-T.O.P (from big bang) – HE’S SOOOOOOOO COOOL!! And he’s hot and also cute!!

-DAViD BECKHAM!!! ZOMG~!! Hot abs! heheheeeeeeeee yes you know I have had a major crush on David Beckham since primary rofls

-DARK MOUSY (from dnangel) – he’s super duper cool with his ninja moves!

- Cloud (Final Fantasy 7 advent children) – great hair what more can I say? There’s just something about suffering guys that draw people to them…he’s one of such

Syaoran Li – come on, tell me you like him too!! He would be a great family man!!

Touya (from cardcaptor Sakura) – he’s funny & an adoring brother. I WANT AN OLDER BROTHER LIKE HIM…errrrrr not really but yehhhhhhh wouldn’t mind he’s cool xD

-Tamaki (Ouran High!!) – heheeheeeeeeeeeeee he’s just tooo cool =D an idiot but nonetheless a cool idiot!! Love his idiocy and his tendency to help others out and making a big deal of things

-Mori senpaii – hehehe mysterious and quiet. I’d just attack him and kiss his lips and he wouldn’t be able to say anything more than “ah” hehehhee

-Daniel Henney (Korean/American actor) – he’s hot, he’s cute and he speaks fobby Korean

-Enrique Iglesias – D: HE CAN BE MY HERO BAABBYYYYY rofls =D he’s hot!~!

 -Tidus (Final Fantasy X-10) – he’s cooooool. AND HE HAS BLONDE HAIR AND BRIGHT BLUE EYES !! my PERFECT MAN!!

-Hayden Christensen – very very very CUTE I love him!! Even though he was a star wars actor LOL but hey there’s nothing wrong with that

-Kibum (Super Junior singer) – ngaww I reckon Kibum is a total cutie and I just love his dorkiness and he can speak fobby English!! That’s pretty okay!! Haha

-James Marsden – he is ultra cool! He’s the Cyclops in X-Men, MC dude in Hairspray and he was even in that movie … drive something….er yeahhhhhhhhhhh HE’S COOL

-Justin Bruening – yes I know another J guy!! BUT this Justin is soooo hot! He’s like my dream Justin except he has brown hair instead of my preferred blonde and he has hazel eyes instead of my preferred blue but he’s still hot and cool! Note that at this stage I deem many guys “cool” rofls

-Jake Gyllenhaal – heh he’s got that dorky look that I like. Dunno. He’s cute though

-Joe Jonas – so I like one of the Jonas brothers and he’s the one

-Zac Efron – ULTIMATE HOTTYYYYYYYY but he still doesn’t beat Jesse McCartney LOLS. But yeah.

-Josh Duhamel – he’s cool! Plus he was in transformers and he married Fergie so I guess I cant kiss him anymore which doesn’t really matter cuz I still like him

-Justin Timberlake – I know, by now you’re going god tram likes guys whose names start with J‘s!! But heyyy it’s a coincidence! Or is IT? Hehehe well JT is cool and he has kissable lips HAH how would I know though right?

-Lee Wan – VERY kissable lips. Believe me hehehe plus he was great in Tree of Heaven made me cry like a baby ><”

-Lee Junki – he’s cute =D and he’s hot and he’s a dork and HE HAS GREAT LONG HAIR…well its not that long but yeh you know I like guys with longish hair =D

-Mike He (Chinese actor in Devil Does Exist/beside you) – by now you know that I’m gonna say HE’S COOL and he was such a badass in that movie

-Robert Buckley – THE GUY IN LIPSTICK JUNGLE!! You know the hottie!! He has a great bod and DAMNS does he resemble the image I have of Justin C….well kinda rofls

-Scott Bailey (Sins and Sinners) – HOT DRAMA HOT GUY HOT HOT HOT HOT I just love him and YES he does too have kissable lips cuz I saw him kissing on drama TV! Lols

-TEPPEI – (WAT singer) he’s sooo cute huhuhuu

-Wentz – (WAT singer) – he’s mysterious!! So cool xD

 -Tom Felton – man he’s cool! BLONDE EYES BLUE HAIR GAHHHH I’m a sucker for blonde eyes and blue hair lols

-Fay D.Flowright (Tsubasa) – He’s so mysterious get so gentlemanly LOLS would be soooo cool to kiss his intelligible lips lol

-Kurogane (Tsubasa) – he’s SUCH a fierce warrior!! Soo cool. Manly man!! And yes he can be such a jerk sometimes but he’s also valiant and he’s a good judge of character =D

 - Hikaru & Kaoru (Ouran high) – but prolly Hikaru more cuz he’s suuuuch a trouble maker lolls & Haruhi did once say that he IS a tad eviler than Kaoru hehehe

-Ung Dai Ve (viet singer) – he looks like Tommy o___O” but a more hotter Tommy LOLS and he’s got them DIMPLES sooo cute and of course those kissable lips =)

-Wu Zun (Chinese signer) – I don’t know much about him but he looks soooo cuteeee

-Pete Wentz – married but it’s still good to dream =)

 - Brad Pitt – Well the younger Brad he has SUCH kissable looks =) his smile and eyes and hair and ahhh the BODY !!

-Michael Buble – I like his seductive voice!

-Ben Affleck – he’s sooo hot!!

-Brendan Urie – heheheheh VERY kissable lips and I SAW him in concert so he has even more appeal to me now ahahaha

-Hinder’s lead singer!! Because I need a rocker in my life with a great husky voice! And he’s it. Plus it doesn’t hurt that he sings Lips of an Angel my all time favourite song lols

-Lee Harding – hehehe punks are soooo hot sometimes and Lee is definitely HOT!

 - Lifehouse’s lead singer cuz he’s a bit of a rocker too plus I love him!! Even though I don’t know his name rofls

 

 - Mike Way (My chemical romance guitarist) – he has very kissable lips too and he plays the guitar YOU KNOW I LIKE A GUY WHO PLAYS A GUITAR lol

 

 - Ryan Cabrera – his songs blow me away. They’re so sweet and has great meaning. I just love him overall plus he also plays the guitar!!

-Oliver James – CUTE CUTE  CUTE ULTRA CUTE I lover him lol

The following are book characters that I damn wish were real lol:

 

-Eric the Bad – if he were real then this world would accept everything paranormal and I’d be ever so damn happy!! Eric sounds hot and he can kiss. I read so.

-Elijah – zomgs! Demon warrior!! He’s like a rocker WITH powers. What’s not to love? Plus the cover on this book is shiny. You know I like shiny things =D

-Bowen MacRieve – he’s a lykae (werewolf) and I reckon that’s cool cuz I love dogs! Heh

-Prince David – so he shares the name of a guy I ONCE liked and so he’s soooo much like a dickhead sometimes and an egoist JUST LIKE THAT OTHER GUY but he is a prince!! And he can be charming and mean it at the same time which is why prince David is very kissable. LOLS.

-Conrad – immortal warrior. Manly and hot what can I say?? Heheheh I love the muscles

-Brian – ever so sweeet! Don’t you just love a sweet guy who can also be very menacing when he wants to be? CUZ I DO!

-Diemos – gods know that he needs a good kissing so that he can man up lols

-Sebastian Wroth – He’s so cute in his internal struggles of being a vampire siiighhhh PICK ME SEBASTION lol

-Conrad Wroth – He’s a bit crazy but every one has a crazy sometimes … even YOU kong!

-Nikolai Wroth – vampire vampire vampire!!!! Very hot vampire at that lols

-Lachlain MacRieve – Yes he’s a lykae too and yes I do love my hard muscled book characters =D

 -Sinclair – dude, a guy with his name just spells mystery and danger or maybe I’m just reading too much into his name…anyways, he’s cool!! Vampire with an attitude but hey, what vampire character I’ve read so far doesn’t?

 

-Edward Cullen – thought I’d forget did ya? Nope, nope, like the rest of the world I am pretty much smitten with this character as well =D

 

 -Paen (read as Pain) – that’s such a cool name don’t you reckon? Anyways Paen thinks that he is better without a soul and all that but underneath it all the poor bugger just needs a little hope from someone

-Lorcan – another badass vampire with attitude. I so do love these vampire men

-Griff – yea he’s real bad but hey he turned out to be a good guy in the end and he was ever so charming to Rosalind =D

 -Conlan – he’s a bit of a weirdo but his devotion is just too cool

 

-Damien – another night walker and YES he is a vampire!! Shiny book cover = love!! Plus he’s a real softy at heart. Everyone loves a muscle bound yet soft dude. Or maybe that’s just me…yeah probably lol

 

Now back to real people lol

 

-Andy Roddick – he has a weird serve but I still root for him in tennis =D

 

 -Raphael Nadal – since we’re onto tennis…this dude is cool and I like him better now that he beat Roger Federer in the Australian opens or something like that lol GO RAPHA!

 

-Eric Dane – McSteamy!!!! On Grey’s Anatomy!! His on-screen name says it all lol

 

 -Heath Ledger – he was pretty cool and I did love his movies. Why’d he have to die? =(

 

-Hamish Blake – he’s funny!! And sometimes I think he lisps lol but I still liketh him =D and it’s pssible that i could meet him cuz he lives in Aus! wootz

 

-Orlando Bloom – I loved him in Lord of the Rings =D

 

- Johnny Depp – I blame you for this Kong cuz we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean and then I started getting hooked on his other films!! LOL anyways he’s a great actor

 

- Will Smith – he’s funny, sometimes egotistic, good lookin and has starred in loads of good movies. Why wouldn’t I like him? Lol

 

-Rove McManus – yea I like Rove cuz he’s a funny man & YEAHHHH he’s in aus too but all the way in melbourne i think =( gotta go and meet him some day =D

 

-Owen Wilson – he’s funny in the sometimes dorky ways. You know I like dorkiness

 

- Chace Crawford – yes you saw this coming =D I like his looks and he’s acting skill aint that bad. Really like his hair too hehe

 

-Ed Westwick – He maybe an ass on screen as Chuck Bass but Ed himself is good lookin’ and he seems nice enough

 

-VIC MIGNOGNA – he’s COOL and I mean it this time!! He’s like the funniest and outgoing voice actor I’ve seen! He gets up to crazy things. I know cuz I stalked him on youtube and watched his crazyness lols. Plus he can also sing!!

 

-Brian McFadden – love his voice, songs and his hair =D

 

-Robert Pattinson – he seems dopey in most of the pics I’ve seen him in. Lols. But whatever. He’s awesome

 

-Christian Bale – rawrs he has a potty mouth and a temper at that but he’s a cool batman!!

 

- Keith Urban – I like his songs!!! Would be great if I could meet him, which is possible cuz I can just go to his concerts & stalk him afterwards lol. Helps that he’s aussie so he’s bound to come to Australia sometime soon hahaha

 

-Usher – favourite singer of all time man wish I can go to one of his concerts! It’d be awesome!!

 

-Toro Kwok – I remember instantly liking him Snow Angel but that damn movie made me cry loads lol. But he was really good in it

 

-JJ Lin Jun Jie – He has this big dimple when he smiles and its really cuuteeeee

 

- Jay Chou – like his songs and his voice is unique

 

-George Nozuka – I LOVE HIS DANCE MOVES lol

 

-Sung Ri (Big Bang) – he’s cuuuteeee =) so adorkable

 

-Shiwon (Super Junior) – man he’s breathtakingly handsome at the right angle!! I love his dimple and he’s such a softy

 

-Heechul (Super Junior) – he’s such an idiot. He reminds me of Tamaki sometimes lol. He’s damn funny too and I love his hair; at least he has better sense in hair styles than me lol

 

-Hankyung (Super Junior) – hehehe he’s adorkable as well =)

 

-Hyun Bin – He’s sooo cool in My Name’s Kim Sam Soon!! & A Millionaire’s First Love!!

 

-Jang Dong Gun – I remember staying up late to watch this old movie of his and damn I loved it but yes it made me cry too cuz the girl he loved died of cancer >.<”

 

-Miyavi – Yeah he’s a punkster with loads of piercings and tattoos and he isn’t much of a singer but I don’t know why but he appeals to me somehow lol

 

-Shunichi Miyamoto – I LOVE HIS PIANO SKILLS !! & his voice isn’t so bad either

 

 -Luu Chi Vy – Viet singer and I love his songs & voice. He’s so cute when he smiles and his dimples shows =D

So yeah that’s like 100 guys i would love to meet someday in real life albiet some are book characters lol.